Just f*cking let go

Sometimes the solution is to just f*cking let go. Don’t analyze. Don’t reminisce. Don’t chew and chew until there’s nothing left to chew but you’re still chewing. Because you’ve gotten addicted to the motion of chewing even if there’s nothing to chew and swallow.

I started a startup in November 2016. 2.5 years in and we’d raised a round of funding when I realised that it just wasn’t working for me. Truth be told, I took the decision which was right by my head, heart, body, and soul. I up and left at the end of March 2019.

Strangely enough, I’ve harboured, at least to a small extent (actually the extent varies in accordance with whether or not I’ve spoken to someone from the company in the recent past) a ‘woe is me’ attitude. This past weekend, my ex-cofounder got in touch for a favour. He wanted me to speak to a potential investor who wanted to do a ref check on him. I agreed. What have I got to lose? I was only happy to help the startup I’d started. So I spoke to the investor.

Altruism aside, this incident made me feel low. It was a reminder that a) the startup is doing is great and b) I didn’t seem to have my own sh*t figured out. The result? Woe is me!!! I wallowed in it for a while.

Until I realised that I needn’t at all. Sure, I could ‘work through it’. Journal about it. Discuss it with my therapist and coach. Make this into a gratitude exercise by thanking the universe for this wonderful opportunity to learn and grow.

Or I could just let go. Shut that book and never open it again.

So that’s what I did.

And I lived happily ever after!

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PS: Here’s a poem called ‘She Let Go‘ by Reverend Safire Rose. If what I shared resonated with you, I think you’ll enjoy the poem. Here’s an excerpt from it:

She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.

.
.
.

No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

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