Ranjana TN

Being more ‘you’

It’s my quest this year and decade to start being more ‘me’. To understand what it means to be me, I’ve been taking a raw look at my thoughts, beliefs, behaviour, and actions to discover what’s serving me and what isn’t. I want to know what it means to be ‘The Powerful Ranjana’. What would she have to continue to do? What would she have to let go? What would she have to change? What would she have to amp up? It took me a lot of journaling and quite a few interesting conversations to begin understanding myself better. I wanted to share some of the insights I’ve had, in the hope that it might resonate with someone. If this does resonate with you, let me know. It would be nice to know that you get how I’m feeling and what your own journey has been like.

Be authentically you and unafraid of being judged by others

I have come to understand that I need to stay true to my work, my vision, my mission. Irrespective of whether people viewed me favourably or not. Irrespective of what people thought of me or how they judged me. This is hard for me, though. Recently, I told a friend how much I resisted saying no to others’ requests and was afraid to be seen as ‘impolite’ or ‘cold’. He said something profound – “You should care for people but not about how they judge you or what they think about you”.

Recently, I’ve made a new friend who’s so refreshingly himself. From the moment I made his acquaintance, it became clear to me that the guy is genuine. He’s open and there’s nothing put on. That’s so wonderful to see and it made me trust him in a heartbeat. Sure, some might not like him for the very reasons I like him. I don’t think he cares, though. If you really think about it, it’s not under his control anyway.

What you can do is be authentically you. And not care what the rest of the world thinks about you. I’d like to start embracing this mindset and start becoming the person who’s busy pursuing her mission – even if it involves saying a million no’s to others – without the fear of being judged.

Be true to your own path

I tend to take on way too much at any given point in time. Worse still, I tend to take on the wrong stuff. Many times, that’s driven by the fear of missing out and wanting to do multiple things, even if I know it won’t make me fully happy or satisfied. Other times, it’s based on someone else’s definition of what a great path looks like. This results in overwhelm because I’ve bitten off way more than I can chew and frustration because the path recommended by others isn’t my path so it doesn’t work for me.

Take the time to figure out what your path is. Once you’ve done that, keep that as your central focus and pursue it like a maniac. When there’s ONE mission, every other project will go through the filter of whether it serves that mission or not. So by default, it will become less overwhelming because you’ll only take on the things that are relevant to your mission.

The Universe is always on your side

I used to jump to conclusions. Sometimes, I assumed the worst when there could have been a simple and benign explanation for everything. This definitely dampened my experience of life. However, ever since I adopted the mantra, “the universe is always on my side”, my relationship with life/universe has become significantly better.

When you trust that everything is happening for you, you’ll consider even the seeming setbacks from the angle that they’re helping you in some way. You definitely develop the ability to see life as a glass half-full. You don’t take offence as easily. You are able to let go of hurts sooner and without harbouring resentment. It’s a super empowering mindset to have.

Challenge your assumptions

We tend to just assume so many things without questioning their validity. Here are a few examples:

“I’m a slow worker”
“I don’t have it in me to do this”
“I need to push, push, push all the time if I want to be successful”
“I don’t have enough to share or give another person”

More often that not, these are just random assumptions we are either socially conditioned to have or picked up in our childhood. They might have been true in a very specific context, but we might’ve generalised them. Challenge these assumptions. Are they really true? For eg., is it that you’re a slow worker or is it really that you don’t like what you’re doing so you end up doing tasks slowly? Dig into yourself and go down the rabbit hole. You’ll find that the trouble lies elsewhere. In this particular example, it could just be that you need to change your line of work or organization and it isn’t really about your speed of execution of tasks.

Imagine a world where you feel like you’re being your most authentic self and are treading your true path of purpose. You’re focused on your ONE mission, your days are productive as well as fun, you feel in control, you feel like you’re living a life of contribution, and you just feel…really good. That’s the powerful you. And the way of getting there is to start being more you today.